


Love In Your Heart, Coffee on Your Shirt

by eliahark



Series: I'm the only one writing any content for this fandom [1]
Category: SHAKESPEARE William - Works, The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller, Troilus and Cressida - Shakespeare, Troilus and Criseyde - Geoffrey Chaucer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Briseis is the best, Diomedes isn't always an asshole, Multi, Paris is the worst, Soccer Mom Penelope, patroclus is clueless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22488019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliahark/pseuds/eliahark
Summary: In the end, it’s her uncle who convinces her to take the job. He tells her that she needs to stop letting Troilus get in her way, and she should start moving on with her life.
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus (Song of Achilles), Diomedes/Cressida, Odysseus/Penelope
Series: I'm the only one writing any content for this fandom [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725205
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Love In Your Heart, Coffee on Your Shirt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mirkandmidnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkandmidnight/gifts).
  * Inspired by [flour in your hair, love in your heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4885594) by [mirkandmidnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkandmidnight/pseuds/mirkandmidnight). 



In the end, it’s her uncle who convinces her to take the job. He tells her that she needs to stop letting Troilus get in her way, and she should start moving on with her life.

* * *

“That’s where we keep the flavored syrups and everything. I’m assuming you know how to use an espresso machine.” Iphegina says, popping her gum. Cressida just nods in response, “Briseis works afternoons, Patroclus works mornings, and Odysseus works… whenever Odysseus works, and I tend to bounce around.” Cressida nods again. 

“Cool. I gave Agamemnon my class schedule… I’m assuming that he’s good about that sort of stuff, being a campus associated cafe?” 

“Uh… I guess. Mostly it’s Briseis who figures that stuff out.”

“Oh, do I need to send her my schedule?”

“You ask a lot of questions.” Iphegina says, pulling out her phone, “Just ask Odysseus, okay?” Cressida nods and heads out to the counter area.

“Oh, Hey, Cressida.”

“Odysseus,” she says, keeping her tone even. Odysseus glances down with tight lips. 

“We’re still there, are we?” Cressida just glares at him. 

“Look I was just told to come out here to ask about-” she’s cut off by a door swinging open, to reveal a woman with dark curly hair,

“How’s that training session going, Odysseus?” Cressida looks at him, putting her best-annoyed face on, 

“It’s going great,” he turns to give Cressida a pointed look, “Actually Briseis, Cressida just had a question for you. He pushes Cressida forward and slips past her into the break room. _Traitor._

“You gotta question for me?” the woman, Briseis asks, 

“Um. ya, I was actually wondering about shift scheduling. I sent my schedule to Agamemnon, but I was told that you actually do most of that stuff, and I was wondering if I had to send my schedule to you or…”

“Nope, fucking Agamemnon already sent it to me.” Fucking Agamemnon? “But it would actually be great if I got your email or your phone number.”

“I can give you both,” Cressida says, 

“Perfect.” Briseis looks oddly relieved at that statement. So Cressida grabs a notepad and quickly scribbles down her email and phone number before handing it over to Breises, who enters the information into her phone. “You were actually a dream to schedule. You have a surprising lack of labs for a psych major.”

“For some reason, there aren’t a lot of lab courses required.”

“Anyways today you’ll be working with Odysseus and me for the rest of the afternoon. Tomorrow you’ve got opening, You’re off on Tuesday, and Wednesday you’ve got opening again,”

“Cool,” 

Working with Briseis is nice. She helps Cressida when the cash register tries to eat her hand and lets her study when there’s no one in the cafe. Towards the end of her shift, she’s sweeping the floor when she turns her head to see Cassandra walking past. Her heart feels a little heavy at that. She had always liked Cassandra, and she had been a good friend, but when everything went down, despite believing Cressida, the two of them had stopped talking. Breisis catches her staring out the window, and walks over to her.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not in the slightest.” Breisis looks out the window to see Troilus running over to greet his sister when she looks back at her,

The rest of the shift passes relatively without incident, Cressida accidentally lightly burns herself on hot water, but then again, when doesn’t she. Cressida doesn’t even notice her shift is done until the bell rings, signaling the door opening, and she looks up to see Diomedes. She’s about to scold him for interrupting her, but she looks at the clock and notices he’s here to pick her up. 

“Hey, Cress,”

“Hey, I’ve just got to finish cleaning up, but then I’ll be ready to go,” she says, 

“I’ve got it.” Briseis says, smiling, “you already did most of the clean up anyway. It’s mostly just locking things up from here.”

“Thanks, Briseis,” Cressida says before hanging up her apron. She hears Odysseus greeting Diomedes in that obnoxious way they do. But she smiles at it and grabs her bag before waving to Briseis and heading out. As they walk to her dorm, Diomedes slips his arm around her shoulder, and she leans against him a bit. Odysseus makes some snide remarks about it but shuts up when Diomedes reminds him just how gross he and Penelope are. For the first time since August, Cressida is feeling optimistic. 

* * *

It takes 15 minutes for Cressida to figure out how opening shift works. Patroclus and whoever else is on does everything, while Iphigenia plays on her phone in the breakroom. Due to the fact it is a Monday morning, Patroclus is not thrilled to have his only backup be a newbie. She tries her best to be kind to him and to do as much as she can to help out, but every time that she asks a question, his head drops a quarter of an inch. She doesn’t even think he realizes he’s doing it. Luckily she seems to be getting the hang of things pretty quickly, and when they open at 8:15, she doesn’t feel too scared. 

At exactly 8:45, the door swings open, Patroclus looks up a little too quickly. Cressida follows his eyes and sees a muscular guy walk through the door. So that must be the hot guy that comes in every day that Odysseus was talking about. Cressida is too busy making drinks when the Hot Guy orders, but she sees the two of them talking. She makes a mental note to mention this to Odysseus before giving a girl her cappuccino. 

The mornings are so busy it makes sense for the two of them to switch off between the register and actually making the drinks. Cressida, in a hurry, hits the button that she would have used back at Priam and sons for a Latte, which ends up being a scone here. When she tries to fix her mistake, the register starts making weird noises at her. She turns to get Patroclus’ attention, but he’s talking with Hot Guy. 

“Patroclus,” she hisses, but he ignores her. The guy who she’s serving is staring right at her in a way that makes her think he is adding up some info she doesn’t want him adding up, 

“Patroclus… Patroclus,” she hisses as he just spaces out staring at the place hot guy was standing “...PAT!” she hisses again, and he finally hears her. 

“What’s the problem?”

“The register is trying to eat me,” she explains, he rolls his eyes and fixes it, and finishes serving the guy before shoving her back in front of the cash register. 

“Do I know you?” the guy asks.

“Next!” Cressida calls out. 

* * *

When Cressida comes in on Wednesday, she notices two things, one is that Iphigenia still isn’t doing any work, and two is that Patrocles seems simultaneously happier and more flustered. Due to the way rotations work out; unfortunately, Cressida ends up serving Hot Guy. This seems to slightly annoy Patroclus, who keeps trying to catch his eye. After the main rush has come and gone, Cressida’s back is killing her, and she honestly just wants to sit down, but they still need to do some cleanup, 

“Ow,” she groans, before sitting on the counter to give her spine some relief. 

“Come on, we’ve still got to clean the espresso machine out,” Patroclus says, 

“Why don’t we just ask Iphegenia to do it?” Cressida asks, and Patroclus laughs at her, 

“Good luck with that.” 

“Why hasn’t she been fired if she doesn’t do anything?” Cressida bursts out, and luckily the cafe is empty other than Hot Guy because even with his earbuds in, he looks up at her instantly. She lowers her arms, blushing furiously. 

“Hey, Rule Number 6,” Patroclus says, and Cressida is too tired and in too much pain to be bothered to pretend she knows what the fuck he’s talking about, 

“Rule Number 6?”

“You are not to question Ipheginia’s employment.” he says, sounding annoyed, his tone of voice indicating that she should understand what he’s talking about, “Nepotism is nepotism.” 

“I’m lost,” Cressida says, cracking her back rather impressively if the way Patroclus’ eyes widen is any indication. 

“She’s Fucking Agamemnon’s daughter,”

“Okay, that’s the second time I’ve heard him referred to as Fucking Agamemnon. What’s up with that?” 

“Did no one teach you the rules of working here?” Patroclus says, annoyed.

“Iphigenia gave me my training session,” she hisses at him. 

“Oh, that makes a lot of sense,” Patroclus says, having the courtesy to look a little ashamed with himself. And he goes on to explain to her the rules. Rule Number 1: you may only refer to the boss as Fucking Agamemnon, (Why? Cause he’s an asshole). Rule Number 2: that you do not discuss the Great Espresso Incident of 2018. Rule Number 3: this establishment will never have a chalkboard out front. EVER. Rule number 4: Never Question Briseis. Rule number 5: all hail the unknown baker. Rule number 6: you are not to question Ipheginia’s employment (oops). 

Patroclus is in the middle of explaining Rule Number 7, which has something to do with Odysseus and coffee when he is cut off by the door swinging open to reveal a man wearing a stupid, awful, pretentious coat and a sour expression on his face.

“Uh oh,” Patroclus mutters as the mystery man walks towards the break room, “That’s not good.” Cressida follows his gaze, then looks questioningly at him. 

“What’s up with that?” she asks, 

“Iphigenia’s dad,” he replies. _Fucking Agamemnon._

“Uh oh,” she agrees.

A moment later, Agamemnon comes back out, Iphigenia in tow, and he must not see Hot Guy in the corner, because he starts screaming at her almost immediately. Patroclus grabs her arm, and the two of them begin inching away towards the back room. But apparently, Fucking Agamemnon has eyes on the back of his head because as soon as they start moving, he whips around, giving them a death glare to end all death glares. So they’re trapped behind the counter, Cressida flinching every time Agamemnon’s voice gets louder. Cressida is about 3 seconds away from crying when Hot Guy stands up, holding his laptop bag in one hand, and approaches Fucking Agamemnon. Cressida can see Patroclus shaking his head furiously at him, but Hot Guy isn’t paying attention. 

“Look, sir, there’s really no need for you to be yelling at her out here. Why don’t you calm down?” Cressida has to fight the urge not to laugh at that, because doesn’t he know anything? He’s just gonna make things worse. Luckily, Fucking Agamemnon ignores him. 

“You know what?” he says, pointing at Iphigenia. “You’re fired. Go on, get out of here. And don’t come asking me for help next time you need a job, Iphigenia.” He turns on his heel and storms out, the door slamming shut behind him. They all stand there in stunned silence for a moment, until Hot Guy says, 

“Right. I should probably go then.” It isn’t until he leaves that Cressida notices she’s still shaking. 

* * *

It’s already been a rough day when it happens. With Iphigenia gone, they’re technically understaffed, meaning that Briseis has to deal with looking through the applications to see who’s schedule is actually in any way compliant with shifts before Agamemnon can hire them. So when Briseis is on shift, she’s pretty much MIA. This isn’t a problem when she’s with Agamemnon or Patroclus, so they try their best to schedule it that way. It’s okay, until one Tuesday, Odysseus is sick, and Patroclus has class, which means that Cressida ends up sprinting across campus after her Cog Psych class. She’s half an hour late for her shift because of the way her class is scheduled, and she barely gets her apron on before the second wave of the lunch rush hits. 

One thing about Cressida that you should know is that while she’s fine under expected pressure, she’s awful under unexpected pressure. She was the kid in high school who had a panic attack every time a pop quiz was announced. Another thing about Cressida that you need to know is that on Tuesday, she has three classes in a row, Study of Behavior, art history (Ancient through Medieval), and Cog Psych. This means she goes into hyperfocus for four and a half hours. It’s a good system for her, however, when she falls out of it… she’s tired, hungry, and kinda a mess. 

So as you can assume, the lunch rush is a bit of a mess. She misspells names and almost forgets how to make a latte. So as soon as the lunch rush is done, she is ready to lie flat on the floor and have a small mental breakdown. But Cressida just can’t catch a break, can she. She’s alone in the main area, the only other person in the shop is Hot Guy when it happens. 

“So. This is where you’ve shacked yourself up.” _Paris._

“Hello, what can I get you today?” Cressida says, trying her best not to take the bait. 

“One black coffee, as hot as you can make it,” he says, and Cressida goes to make his drink, but he isn’t done yet. “Didn’t know they hired cheating whores here. Guess you should have been working here the whole time.” 

“You know I was sexually assaulted.” she says, trying to keep her voice level, “Here’s your coffee.”

“I forgot that was the story we were going with. Like how I’m going with the story, that this coffee just spilled,” He flings it on her, and fuck that shit is hot. “Oops.” 

“HEY ASSHOLE!” she hears Hot Guy say, before grabbing him and punching him clear across the face. “Oops,” 

“What the FUCK is going on here?” Breisis says storming out, and at that moment, all of the chaos becomes too much to handle, and Cressida finds herself staring at the floor, wondering who makes up tile patterns. It isn’t until she hears the bell ring that she tunes back into real life. 

“Cressida, are you okay?” Briseis asks, Cressida means to dismiss the worry and go about her business, but instead, she bursts into tears. Which is how Cressida finds herself being unceremoniously dumped at boyfriend’s apartment (that he shares with Odysseus and Penelope). Trying her best to convince everyone that murder isn’t the answer, and she just needs to take a shower, and maybe put some ice on her stomach. They agree, but Diomedes ends up applying for the job at the cafe while Cressida is getting cleaned up. She spends the rest of the day curled up against him on the couch, icing her stomach, telling him that he should probably go to class, but being secretly kinda happy when he doesn’t. So overall, it could be a lot worse. 

* * *

After the Incident Hot Guy (who’s name is apparently Achilles) becomes even more of a regular customer at Spartan Coffee. Diomedes get the job, which is hilarious to watch. She already knows that he’s an absolute terror when in the same room as Odysseus, but it’s fun watching everyone else find that out. What Cressida wasn’t expecting was Patroclus and Diomedes becoming good friends. After only 3 shifts together, Fucking Agamemnon has banned scheduling the three of them for the same shift. It only ends in chaos.

In this way, Cressida, Patroclus, and Briseis start working together more and more, which she’s not going to complain about. They become good friends, and it’s not an uncommon sight during slow periods for the three of them to be crowded around Achilles’s table, talking animatedly until Fucking Agamemnon comes by and yells at them or a customer comes in. It’s a good system, and Cressida is having a lot of fun, and she’s beginning to understand why Briseis and Odysseus are teasing Patrocles so much about Achilles.

For Example, one Friday, Odysseus, Patroclus, and Cressida are all on opening shift together, when Cressida notices something odd. It’s the quiet time of the morning, and the only people in the shop are the employees, Achilles, and Briseis, who’s not even signed up to work but came anyway to study. Patroclus looks around warily, then takes a scone out of the display case and walks over to Achilles’s table. He doesn’t see Cressida peeking up from her Cultural Psych notes to watch the whole thing go down. Cressida waves at Odysseus who comes over,

“What’s going-”

“Shh,” she hisses at him before pointing at the scene about to go down in front of them. Odysseus nods and moves to a strategic place behind the display counter, and Cressida pretends like she’s still studying. 

Achilles is listening to music on his laptop, and Patroclus has to clear his throat several times to get his attention. When he finally does look up, he breaks into a wide smile. Patroclus is blushing furiously, and Cressida and Odysseus exchange a look.

“Oh, hey, Patroclus,” he says. “How have you been?”

“Good, I’m fine,” he replies. smooth. “Hey, so we’re trying out some new pastries on the menu, and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind testing this one for me?” Patroclus holds out the scone. “It’s got figs in it.” Achilles grins at that, before responding with,

“I love figs.” Patroclus turns so red it might be dangerous, and he shoves the scone at Achilles before fleeing. As soon as he turns around, Odysseus develops an interest in empathy across cultures, and Cressida starts explaining it to him. Luckily Patroclus is too flustered to notice how suspicious the whole situation is. But Cressida keeps up the act, partially to annoy Odysseus, partly because it helps her study. 

When Achilles leaves a few hours later, Patroclus goes over to clean the table and stops abruptly. He picks something up, looks around like a first-time shoplifter, and shoves it into his pocket before practically sprinting to the break room. It takes everything in Cressida not to burst out laughing. Briseis looks amused from her place at the table and approaches the counter. 

“What do you think that was about?” Odysseus asks,

“Let’s find out. But first, I have a theory. Cressida, go sit down at my table.” Briseis says conspiratorially, and Cressida does as she says. As soon as she’s sat down, Briseis straightens up and calls out, “PATROCLUS!” Patroclus then comes skittering out, 

“Ya?” 

“Can you deal without me for the last 15 minutes of shift? I have a test, and I don’t wanna be late.” 

“Sure,” Patroclus says, quickly, before going to clean the espresso machines. The three of them all look at each other and barely contain their laughter.

* * *

Apparently, it takes the unknown baker quitting for the two of them to get their act together. Patroclus is a disaster by the time Cressida and Odysseus arrive at the cafe at 7:30, and for some reason, Achilles is there. But they haven’t even opened yet. Cressida heads to the back to start getting ready, and she sees Odysseus and Achilles talking, looking somewhat worried. Cressida tries her best to help, by putting what she can in the display case, or on cooling racks. But as someone with attention issues, she knows that talking to him will only cause disaster. A few minutes later, Briseis arrives, and she goes to speak to Patroclus, but Cressida grabs her by the arm so that she waits for him to yank the last thing out of the oven, before wordlessly letting her go. Cressida watches from her spot by the espresso machine as Briseis taps his arm and jerks a thumb at Achilles, who is still sitting at the table.

“I think your boy’s getting a little worried,” she says. “Maybe go talk to him?” Patroclus shakes his head furiously, and Briseis sighs.

“Patroclus,” she snaps. “You’ve been here for five hours. Go home. I’m taking your shift tomorrow, don’t even argue with me about this, just go home and get some sleep.”

He rolls his eyes, but takes off his apron and goes over to sit down next to Achilles. Odysseus, Briseis, and Cressida let out a collective sigh as soon as he’s out from behind the counter, before going back to work. But, that doesn’t stop them from noticing Achilles lead Patroclus out of the cafe, grabbing his hand, and pulling him down the street. 

“5 bucks they still don’t figure themselves out for another month,” Odysseus says, grinning.

“Odysseus, it’s rude to bet on other people’s love lives. 10 that they tell each other that they like each other, but still don’t sort themselves out for a whole week.” Cressida says,

“Stop it. The both of you.” Briseis says, and Cressida and Odysseus look down ashamed, “15 that it’s only going to take till the end of the week.” the three of them all look at each other before giggling. 

Briseis wins, but Cressida can’t find it in herself to be mad about it. 

* * *

Cressida and Diomedes aren’t huge into PDA. Especially compared to Penelope and Odysseus. Sure, Cressida likes leaning against him just a bit when she’s next to him, they hold hands, he puts his arm around her shoulders, and sometimes they do forehead kisses, but they really aren’t that gross. 

So sue them that they wanna be able to make out in peace without Odysseus barging in to talk about the bed he’s making for Penelope, or Penelope barging in to make sure Cressida is hydrated, or Cressida being slut-shamed as they walk through her dorm. Currently, it’s very slow in the cafe, and Briseis is distracted. So maybe they slip into the backroom to make out a bit. It was plenty, pg 13, and all clothes stayed on. Perhaps their hair is a bit of a mess, but it’s been super dry, and Cressida’s hair is already a mess. And maybe her lipstick is smudged, and she forgets to fix it before leaving the breakroom. Sue her.

“Hi, All,” she says as cheerfully as possible, which is pretty easy because it feels like she’s walking on a cloud. Briseis throws up her hands. 

“That’s it. I’m fucking done,” she says, and stalks out the door, slamming it shut behind her. Diomedes watches her go, looking puzzled. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Patrocles and Achilles burst out laughing, and soon all of them are giggling.


End file.
